The new cast of Dancing with the Stars has been revealed and the only thing that would have been disappointing is recognizing anyone as a legitimate star. Phew! Let's spare google a couple hits and just tell you what each is world-renowned for. Drum roll, please:
Jewel: America's favorite wonkytooth folk/pop sensation of the mid 90's
L'il Kim: Showed up to MTV Music awards with a sticker on her booby ten years ago
Shawn Johnson: The other Olympian you may have heard of last summer, the one who isn't a raging marijuanaholic
Steve "The Woz" Wozniak: Founded Apple Computer (fills awkward fat guy quota)
Lawrence Taylor: NFL Hall of Famer (fills awkward fat athlete quota)
Steve-O: Jackass, period
Belina Carlisle: Former Go-Go (fills older lady / plastic surgery gone awry quota)
Nancy O'Dell: Entertainment reporter who just had a baby (fills entertainment reporter who needs to lose baby fat quota)
Denise Richards: Went through a traumatic public divorce with an actual celebrity
Chuck Wicks: Country singer you have never heard of
Ty Murray: Cowboy. Apparently "cowboy" is the new "famous actor"
David Allen Grier: Remember In Living Color from the 80's? Well, somebody at DWTS pulled some major strings, because they landed one of the members of the ensemble cast!
Gilles Marini: An extra in the Sex and the City movie and played a French waiter on The Bold and the Beautiful.
ABC announced the lineup last night in an attempt to derail the Grammy's, with performances by Paul McCartney, Stevie Wonder, Justin Timberlake and Coldplay. Plbbbbt! Who wants to watch that garbage when ABC is mentioning Chuck Wicks and Ty Murray?!
I don't know about you, but I am pulling for Gilles. I hate to be so biased toward the biggest celeb on the list, but he may have gotten coffee for Sarah Jessica Parker. I'm just sayin'.
1 People Care:
Okay, Steve Woz dated Kathy Griffin for a time, so he's pretty famous on the D list. I think Ty Murray's claim to fame is that he's Jewel's husband, so he's twice removed from fame.
And I'll still watch religiously.
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