Duffy Fears Her Fame Will Lead to a Meltdown

Duffy feels as if she's sold her soul, she said in a recent interview. The scariest thing, she proclaimed, is being in a pub with fifteen men on one side, and fifteen women on the other, all wanting a photograph with her.

I'm assuming the pub is holding a Duffy family reunion because I have no idea who she is.

Actually, I had no idea who she was before Saturday, when I caught her on Saturday Night Live. I recognized her first song, Mercy, because it's on the commercial for The Women, starring Diane Keaton. Who wouldn't have a meltdown from all that fame?!

Maybe she would have had a meltdown in the early 90's, because everyone would have mistaken her for Melanie Griffith, but singing below a movie dialogue about menopause and infidelity isn't exactly something one should sell their soul for. She should have asked for a pony.

An Open Letter to the Surgeon General

Dear Rear Admiral Steven K. Galson, M.D., M.P.H.,

What the hell do you know, anyway?

-Lindsay Lohan

My Big Fat Attractive Wedding

Both their reps have confirmed that Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds were married outside of Vancouver yesterday. But what about the children? Hasn't anyone stopped to think about how grossly unattractive their children will be?

Seriously, though, their offspring will make those of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie look like piles of vomit and they'll be legitimate. Reynolds' 2, Jolie-Pitts 0

Those Wacky Lohans

What's a guy to do when his whole family gets a restraining order against him?

If you're Michael Lohan, you just shrug and dress the part. But traditional wife beaters don't get the right message across. It's the mesh shirt that really says, "My hamburger helper better be piping hot and on the table when I get home" and shakes it's fist.

Here is the much-feared maniac on the phone at what appears to be a ballet studio. Lindsay was the last of the Lohan women to officially file for an order of protection against the ballet-loving madman, saying he was "scary," "dangerous," and "obviously needs to be on medication".

M-Lo has since responded to the restraining order, but his statement is boring and riddled with misspellings, so here is the link: http://x17online.com/celebrities/michael_lohan/x17_xclusive_michael_lohan_responds-09262008.php

Womanizer is Released, World Collectively Says, "Ehhhhh".

Click there if you would like to be subjected to a song that's bad at best, but catchy a la Heidi Montag.

I love the picture on the link. The genius behind it probably thought, "I want Brit to look sexy and disheveled.

Thanks, but we've seen Britney disheveled. It looks like this. Now that's an album cover.

Slap Me in the Face and Call Me "Posty"

Go ahead, say it. Two posts in one day, what a loser. It was absolutely necessary to share this truly ironic photo of the Pussycat Dolls performing at the Virgin Megastore. Enjoy.

That's Not Ashley

StarDroppings.com is happy to report some actual news today: Mary Kate Olsen washed her hair.


Items that fell out upon brushing are now available on eBay. Need a great deal on some old gum? A squirrel? A dishwasher? Act now! Bidding ends next Thursday!

Kirk Cameron, You Are a Saint and a Conversationalist

If you have a job, you missed the most uncomfortable interview on TV during the Today Show's disastrous 4th hour, hosted by Hoda Kotb and Kathie Lee Gifford.

First of all, the interview was with Kirk Cameron, formerly menacing Mike Seaver, currently Bible-thumping and emotionless actor we'll call CamBot 2000.

Secondly, Kirk Cameron was fortunate enough to get his low budget, born-again film promoted by Kathie Lee Gifford and chose to talk extensively about monogamy.

Nice move, Kirk. Next stop? Sally Jesse! Maybe you can fill her in on your hatred of the nearsighted.

I embedded the video. If you love squirming in your chair, this one's for you!

Two Posts in One Day: Another Shocker, Clay is Gay!

And the fact that Britney's photo is "shopped" knocked your socks off!!! Wait until you see what the hardworking investigative journalists at People Magazine are reporting: Clay Aiken is gay! Boy, is the FBI's face red for not finding this out first! In your face, CIA!

File this under A for "anticlimactic". Congratulations to Clay on the baby and the courage to share his personal life with the world, seriously. Although he hid behind the toughness of Vin Diesel and the manliness of James Bond, I think some of us knew deep down that he may not be interested in women when he fathered a child with a 50 year old surrogate... oh, and was Clay Aiken.

Speculators' Speculating is Spectacular

Bloggers have put it out there that the following promotonal photo of Britney Spears for her new Womanizer single has been digitally manipulated. *gasp!*




Seriously, this picture has seen more airbrushing than the Olly Girls.*




*sophisticated reality TV reference.

A Complete List of Emmy Winners

is not available here.

The excitement of the much-anticipated addition of Best Reality Program went over like a loud record scratch (followed by silence, then crickets) in a dance club when Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List took the prize.

The Emmy people have no pride and here is another reason: they gave two statues to the 80th Annual Academy Awards, one to the Tony's and one to the Grammy's. You know who can never win an Oscar, a Tony or a Grammy? The Emmys. It's sad.

Too lazy to google "complete list of Emmy winners"? Here you go, the Queen of All Media posted them at midnight:
http://perezhilton.com/2008-09-22-and-the-winners-are-10#more-31067

Friday Wrap-Up: Your Questions Answered

How do you bring back a cancelled reality show? Make sure it's boring with mediocre ratings. It seems E! may be giving Denise Richards another whirl. Hm. They couldn't find anyone less inetesting? Someone get Bea Arthur on the horn!

Were Paris Hilton's Dogs Eaten By Coyotes? Tabloids and blogs were reporting that two of Paris' small dogs were attacked and killed behind her home two nights ago. Sigh of relief! Her reps contacted People Magazine and said the rumors are not true. I am starting a rumor now that the dogs got their paws on One Night in Paris, and went out back on a suicide mission.

Is there going to be a spinoff of The Hills? Yes, they are in talks with Audrina Patridge, who has moved out of the home she shared with Lauren Conrad and Lo Bosworth, who are now looking for a wonkey-eyed replacement who won't be so bad for Lo's self-esteem. Is Paris Busy?

How can I kill some time at work? Play City Rag's Celebrity Cameltoe Game! Fun and entertaining, and almost sure to get you fired from that ridiculous job of yours. http://cityrag.blogs.com/main/2008/09/name-the-celebr.html

Finally!

This video of Madonna falling on her wrinkley behind was just posted on You Tube. If you have been hunting everywhere for a video of Madonna dry-humping a defenseless guitar and falling to the ground moments later, you're in luck!

Aubrey O'Day Looks Awesome (if you love crack whores)

Remember Aubrey O'Day? If you answered no, she was on two seasons of Making the Band with Sean "Doody" Combs. If you answered yes, HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If you saw her on the show or maybe some of her concerts with the band, Dannity Kane, HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!

When O'Day became aware her fifteen minutes were coming to an end, she befriended notorious porn star Jenna Jamison to stay in the spotlight and begin her meteoric rise into the gutter with pimps and pregnant porn stars. A true Cinderella story.

Complex Magazine ran out of things to talk about this week and featured an interview with O'Day. The pages come alive with eloquence and class as O'Day discusses anal sex, sex while having her period and masturbation.

Here are some of the photos that accompany the article. It looks like they were shot in her current habitat. Clearly, the limited budget forced Complex to choose between renting this crack house, or a makeup artist. Is there an elephant in the room? What happened to her face?

President Lohan Has an Interesting Ring to It, Eh?

Lindsay Lohan has been drinking and blogging again. She wrote about Sarah Palin:

Is our country so divided that the Republicans best hope is a narrow minded, media obsessed homophobe?

Although the sentence lacks any logic, I do applaud her use of big words and a computer.

Lohan then offered the host a series of events for young voters on behalf of Barack Obama, which the campaign committee quickly declined, saying that Lindsay "is not exactly the kind of high-profile star who would be a positive for us."

Tucker Bounds, a spokesman for the McCain campaign weighed in on the non-issue, saying, "So let me get this straight -- they turned away Lindsay Lohan, but Barack Obama has friends like unrepentant terrorist Bill Ayers and convicted felon Tony Rezko? Maybe LiLo is just too upstanding for Barack Obama."

Now, Tommy Vietor, B.O.'s spokesperson, is saying, "Glad to see they're focused on the important issues over in McCain HQ."

So, McCain's camp is focusing on Obama's verbal bitch-slap of Lindsay Lohan, who was really only trying to help (between drinks), and Obama's camp is focusing on the fact that McCain is focusing on their verbal bitch-slap of Lindsay Lohan, who was really only trying to help (between drinks). Let's hope McCain's people don't hear that Obama's people focused on the fact that they were focusing on the fact that Obama laid a verbal bitch-slap on Lindsay Lohan, who was really only trying to help (between drinks).

The winner is definitely going to get my vote. I am going to have to keep a close eye on this one.

The only thing that's clear here is that nobody wants the support of Lindsay Lohan. Let's hope she doesn't get mad and decide to back John McCain. That will only lead to the inevitable landslide election of a write-in candidate: Lindsay Lohan.

Statutory Rape A-Go-Go

Remember the country-wide heart attack had by rednecks everywhere when Miley Cyrus was completely covered by a sheet and photographed by a famous artist? The very same folks seem to have no problem with her 20-year-old-reality-star-boyfriend, Justin Gaston from Nashville Star.

Pictured above are Miley and Justin on their way to church with Miley's family. What? You've never heard of Our Lady of the Wife-Beater? It's very popular in the South. YEEEEE-HAW!

Weave-Mart Holds Bun Sale, Heidi Stocks Up

Heidi tossed out the same old hair when she stepped out for a benefit for Cedars-Sinai Women's Cancer Research Center. And what was the perfect accessory?

Obviously, the disheveled bum she picked up near Hollywood and Vine.

A Day Off

Good morning. I've got family coming into town today so I am taking the day off from blogging. But writing a blog to tell you I'm taking the day off from blogging isn't really taking a day off, now is it?

Who's That Girl Next Door?

According to an insider at the Playboy Mansion, the rumors are true... and there's more!

Holly Madison has confirmed that she does indeed have the worst taste in men, like, ever. Looks like Holly has jumped ship!

And she's been spending time in Las Vegas with Mindfreak, Criss Angel.

While most of this is two week old rumored news, so was the idea that Hef would soon begin looking for Holly's replacement on the still-successful Girls Next Door.

Now there's room for three, because Bridget and Kendra have also decided to vacate the mansion in pursuit of their own careers.

Now you know, and now you officially care.

Enjoy Your Breakfast

In the latest StarDroppings.com focus group, several members asked for more gag-tastic news in the morning. Sickos and self-loathing perverts, today is your lucky day!

Mary Kate Olsen went to a Radiohead concert the other night with NYC artist Nate Lowman, who she has been dating since 2007. The following evening, she was seen on a double date with Superbad star Jonah Hill.

Nothing makes a person count their blessings like third world hunger, war, and a crudely photoshopped love-triangle that you can practically smell.

If this doesn't inspire you to poke out your own eyes or give yourself a good old fashioned Clorox-douching, then I can't help you. Excuse me, I have some chemicals to mix.

Sexy Prince William and Kate Middleton Photos Stolen

Someone stole a memory card with sexy shots of Prince William and Kate Middleton on it! WHEEEE! Alas, the crooks contacted the tabloids, who responsibly (?!) alerted authorities and had the thieves arrested.

Don't let your curiosity go unsatisfied! Have a peek below and marinate in the sexiness:

Star Eyes a Straight Guy

As if it's not hard enough to find a good man who likes women, imagine trying to find a good man who likes Star Jones. Such is Star Jones' life.

It looks like homegirl has hooked herself an exhibitionist. These two were all over each other at the US Open on Tuesday. Either that, or PDA's cost extra.

Shocking Revelations from New York Daily News

From the Daily News: Doctors Say Amy Winehouse May Suffer From Brain Damage


Are they talking about this Amy Winehouse?

Shocking headlines sell papers, so wouldn't the Daily News have made a couple extra bucks with "There's the Tiniest Chance, as Ridiculous as it Sounds, That Amy Winehouse Might Maybe Possibly Not Have Permanent Brain Damage But, Let's Be Honest, She Totally Does"?

I hope they didn't pay those "medical professionals" for their diagnosis. It would be like running to a doctor for confirmation that David Duchovny has been in more panties than Stayfree. Unnecessary.

Speaking of Racism and Hurricanes

Well, there was no more appropriate time to mention this than coming off the Diddiot post.

Did anyone catch the Today Show this morning?

Look who gets to report live from the warmth and comfort of the NBC studios:



...and who takes the beating for NBC.

Poor Al, Ann, and Lester.

Anyway, being in Florida, what bothers me most during a storm is the news coverage. "Look at me, I am in 150 mph winds! Stay inside! It's dangerous out here. You know what else is dangerous? Touching fallen power lines. I'll demonstrate now!"

I found some rare footage of a white guy facing Gustav. Enjoy!