Is Diddy Serious?

Good for Diddy, using the Presidental election to promote his Ciroc Vodka. Brilliant! He calls his video blogs "Ciroc Obama". Again, brilliant.

I tried to embed his Blog #16 because I'm wondering what I'm missing here. If it's not working, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=thmueS0ngAs

Diddy says, in a profanity-riddled rant, that Sarah Palin was a poor choice for Vice President and that John McCain is "bugging the f#@k out" because she's from Alaska, which has "no crackheads and no crime." That's terrible! Couldn't McCain have searched harder for a candidate whose state was overrun with hookers and drug dealers! How hard is it to find a politician with track marks and herpes, really?!

I've been known to watch Making the Band on a slow Saturday afternoon. As much as I love Diddy, maybe he should stick to telling me what bands to listen to and where to buy smooth vodka.

David Duchovny is a "Bonified" Sex Addict

People Magazine reports the hard hitting news:

"

David Duchovny has entered a rehabilitation center for sex addiction, his lawyer, Stanton "Larry" Stein, tells PEOPLE exclusively. "I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction," the actor says in an exclusive statement. "I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family." Duchovny, 48, has been married to actress Téa Leoni since 1997. They have two children, daughter Madelaine West, 9, and son Kyd, 6.

"

What kind of self-respecting sex-addict only has two kids?

Too Sexy For His Doctor's Mask

Looking buff and tough, here'a a recent photo of Michael Jackson at Planet Holleywood in Las Vegas. Line forms to the left, ladies.

Some experts in the UK created an age-enhanced photo of MJ, showing what he would have looked like not at 50 if he didn't go under the knife, into a vat of flour, then rolled around in a giant heap of crazy for thirty years:

No source was clear as to what these people were "experts" in. I have no idea. MS paint? That's my expertise. I decided to take my own stab at what he might have looked like as an old man:



YEAH! Who's the expert now?!

What We Need Here Is a Good Role Model

HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha... hee hee hee... ha ha... haa... haaaaaaa... aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh. *Sigh*



Michael Lohan just told E!, “Let’s just say I hope Lindsay starts opening her eyes and realizes who the people using her are.”



I wouldn't touch that irony with a ten foot pole. If you are curious about the situation, I'll give you the Cliff's Notes:



- Michael Lohan said people can be a drug, and Samantha Ronson is Lindsay's drug. He said Samantha is using her so she can profit from a tell-all book about their relationship.



- Lindsay told Access Hollywood her father is "out of control. I want him to stop hurting and talking to the media about the people I love".



-Samantha Ronson did what anyone in the situation would do, she blogged. Here it is:



"SHUT THE F*** UP Current mood: bullied
i really don't want to say anything because i feel like he wins- he, being the man who is so desperate for attention that he goes to the media whenever possible- i know i am being used, i am just a pawn- easy to sacrifice in order to feed his addiction. I was angry when i first read his attack on me, but- for me- i believe that actions speak louder than words… so now i just pity him- i am not standing in his way- i am not the reason that he has no contact with his daughter- he is- his need to throw a tantrum for the whole world to hear is- i am not going to go into a play by play defense- i feel no need to publicly defend my role in lindsay's life- i'm just sorry that she likes me more than him.
p.s. i'm not the one that is so lost that i need to use my relationship with lindsay to earn a living…. i am, always will and always have been here for her for her- not for anything else….so I think it's safe to say that there is not now and never will be a tell all….. written by me….. when does your book come out mr. lohan?"



This is out of control. We've got family not talking, bloggers angry-blogging, and people-drugs. Everyone needs to step back, look at the whole situation and ask: WWPPD*?



**

*Hint: The P is Pfeiffer is silent

** Not Marilyn Manson

Denise Richards' Life Just Got a Little Less Complicated

Lousy crystal ball, how could you not have seen this coming?! Denise Richards: It's Complicated has officially been cancelled. Sure, she's pretty interesting a paragraph at a time in a magazine, but a televised half hour? No thanks. Denise Richards is almost 40, relatively likeable, a mother, and hasn't starred in anything anyone has seen since 1998. Where did some genius look at this woman and think, "This is a hit!"?

Everyone knows, in order to get people to watch your stupid life on TV, you have to be:

- Slutty (Pam: Girl on the Loose)
- Crazy (Living Lohan)
- Slutty (Rock of Love)
- Desperate (The Bachelor)
- Slutty (Keeping Up With the Kardashians)
- Unintelligible (The Osbournes)
- Slutty (Paradise Hotel)
- Sneaky (Big Brother)
- Slutty (Supernanny)
or
- Mostly Naked (Survivor)

It's a pretty simple formula, Denise Richards. Arevaderche!

They're Giving Anyone a Baby These Days

Wanna go "ew"? Jenna Jameson confirmed that she's pregnant. At least the kid's got some room to stretch out, right? Word is, Tito Ortiz is the father, but a positive confirmation would require a NASA scientist, so let's just shrug and smile. They have no plans to legitimize their union, and she said to Us Magazine:

"I think I'm gonna stay unmarried and just go for the babies! I'm following in Angelina's footsteps!"

Oh! To-may-toe, to-mah-toe, seriously. Their situations are practically identical. I don't know how I didn't see it before. What amazing news for Angelina Jolie! Do her people know about this? What about the UN?

Speaking of porn, Charlie Sheen's new wife is pregnant, too. This shoots down Denise Richards' allegations that the only thing he could have gotten pregnant was his computer moniter. Good for you, Brooke Mueller!

Season 7 Dancing With The Stars Cast - LIVE BLOGGIN'!

I hate to abandon the Today Show, but I am watching Good Morning America right this minute as Tom Bergeron announces the new contestants for this Fall's Dancing With The Stars.

This show has more freaking commercials and breaks...

OK, here it is. The most shocking thing about this list, besides having thirteen contestants for the first time, is it's the first time Dancing With The Stars has legitimate stars.

Lance Bass - N' Sync

Rocco DiSpirito - Star of reality show, The Restaurant


Kim Kardashian - YAYYY! Reality TV REPRESENT!

Misty May-Treanor - Olympic Beach Volleyball Gold Medalist two Olympics in a row.

Maurice Greene - 2004 track and field Olympian.

Toni Braxton - Singer of pretty love songs

Cody Linley - Youngest contestant at 18, partnered with Julianna Hough (who said she might not return, how do you like your country music career now?), and the star of Hannah Montana that's Miley Cyrus. Look out! This guy does one mean little teapot!


Cloris Leachman - Oldest contestant, played the secretary on every show in the 1970's, the lovable alcoholic grandma on every movie in the late 90's.


Ted McGinley - He was the hot boyfriend from the cool fraternity on Revenge of the Nerds 1-49. I think he's most famous for the scene he wasn't in. Remember the moon bounce scene?


Brooke Burke - Hostess of Rock Star: Supernova


Jeffrey Ross - Stand up comic, you'll know his face


Warren Sapp - Retired football player


Susan Lucci - All My Children star

Weekend Recap Starring Madonna

The only thing more disgusting than Madonna comparing John McCain to Adolf Hitler and Barack Obama to John Lennon was the outfit she wore.






Madonna's 85th Annual World Tour kicked off this weekend, and the video backdrop for her song appropriately titled Get Stupid flashed pictures of John McCain with Hitler, war, and global warming. It came to a close with images of Barack Obama, Gandhi, and John Lennon. The only information I want from Madonna is where she puts the I.V. that has kept Guy Richie on a 24-hour roofie drip for eight years.



What else are you going to need to know to get through the day? Get your opinions, sure to win friends and influence people, here:



- Kim Kardashian was rushed to the hospital after cutting her foot in a hotel room. The Dancing With the Stars Contestants are supposed to be announced today (there will be a post if the pics are remotely interesting) and there have been rumors about Kim and Kris competing. Will this affect her running man? If she had simply been stung by a jelly fish, she could have just found someone to pee on it *clears throat* I'm talking to you, Ray J.



- Republicans immediately released a commercial following the official announcement of Joe Biden being chosen as Obama's running mate, showing Biden saying, "Do I think Barack Obama is ready to be President? No. I stand by that." Clearly, he hasn't been to the Madonna concert.



- Shannen Doherty and Jennie Garth both attended the premiere party for the new 90210 and neither had their eyes scratched out. A CW rep was quoted as saying, "Booooo. What a waste of twenty grand per episode, per star." OK, so nobody said it out loud, but it was written all over their faces.



How was your weekend?

As the Olympics Come to a Close: NOW UPDATED AND NEWSIER

We saw a man named Dong Dong rule the trampoline.

We followed the personal life of Guo Jinjing.

We saw a woman run two hundred meters in a full body cast.

We noticed that Muna Lee looks exactly like Laurie from Swingtown (which, by the way, will be pre-empted by NFL preseason football tonight, but will be returning next week, *reminds self* Swingtown has not been cancelled, stop crying and get out of the fetal position right this minute!).

And, of course, speculated endlessly about who was getting a closer look at Michael Phelps' medals after-hours (that was an Olympic-euphemism if you didn't catch it).

UPDATE: Phelps is rumored to have celebrated his medaltastic performance with a hot 'n heavy makeout session with newly single Australian swimmer Stephanie Rice. The following photograph is a reenactment of said session:

UPDATE: I awarded Phelps a ninth gold in my unofficial Olympic Screech look-alike contest:

The closing ceremonies are Sunday and I saw the final episode of Today live from Beijing. I have really enjoyed the Olympics for the first time this year. Maybe the older I get, the more I appreciate the hard work that these dedicated athletes put into their sport. Maybe the older I get, the less inclined I am to go out and find something better to do than watch other people compete for necklaces.

Back to Swingtown, there have been conflicting rumors swirling around this series. Some are saying it was moved to Friday night due to suffering ratings on Thursdays. Some say it was moved to avoid a battle with ABC's Lost, returning soon. I say a simple change in the title, something a little less subtle that truly states the theme of the show, would do the trick. CBS, consider this my express written permission to start using:

It's Official!

ABC has announced Jason Mesnick is the new Bachelor!

Yep, it's multi-post Thursday. While this is not a tradition, Central Florida has been rained-in and I have nothing better to do but brush up on what's happening in reality TV.

If you watched last season's The Bachelorette, you saw Deanna Pappas rip out the hearts of twenty or so desperate douchebags and awkward toads, leaving just a handful of adorable losers laying in a wake of broken-hearted devestation. One of them was Jason Mesnick, the divorced father of adorable 3-year-old Ty, who we saw on Deanna and Jason's hometown date. The Seattle account manager was funny, cute, and devoted to his family. Who wants that?

I'm sure there won't be any problems finding 25 drooling women who are dying to be proposed to, uproot their lives and move to Washington in preparation for becoming a stepmom, only to be dumped in the face of c-list stardom. I love the Bachelor!!

Good luck Jason!

Question: ABC usually launches nationwide searches for the perfect Bachelor. While Jason and Bob were runners-up on prior seasons of the Bachelorette, hasn't every single Bachelorette been a loser from a previous season of the Bachelor? What does that say about the women? They're so desperate for love or tv time, they're willing to put their heart on the line in front of a national audience twice? Or does it speak worse for the men that there is no nationwide search for a good woman? The producers are all, "Just stick one of the sluttier losers from last season in there - it's good TV".

And the Winner Is... (Yesterday: Part Deux)

You have spoken, and with over 80% of the vote, Michael Phelps will be dating, getting engaged to, and (if things go according to plan) marrying AMANDA BEARD!

Congratulations, you crazy kids!

Who Should Michael Phelps Spend His Life (or the next few post-Olympic months) With? You Decide!

Who wouldn't want a man with a one-track mind? A man who is dedicated to doing one physical activity all day and night? A man who lives and breathes just one thing? Swimming.

Well, according to rumors, there are two lovely ladies vying for the affections of a certain eight-gold-medal winning Olympian. I've made a decision that it's up to us to decide the winner. On what grounds do I believe we have this authority?

First and foremost, Michael Phelps is an athlete. He lives a regimented life and lets his coach decide what's best for him. I believe that if we go for the presumptive close, he'll buy what we're selling: a lifemate.

Secondly, Michael Phelps scoring a model is time-sensitive. He is at the height of his popularity, which helps in the sex appeal department. No self-respecting golddigger is going to be bragging about bagging Phelps in a few years, it sounds ridiculous. Need proof? Try and picture a beautiful woman saying, "Remember that guy who won all hose medals a couple of Olympics back? The swimmer? The one on the cereal box! No? Well, I totally went back to his apartment last night anyway". See?

And C, it's our patriotic duty! He is a US icon for at least a few more months. If we're allowed to choose our own president, we should be allowed to choose a mate for our American hero!


So, my friends, we're going to do Michael Phelps a favor and tell him which dramatic turn his life will take.

Here's what you need to know to make an informed decision:


Amanda Beard: Also a swimmer, posed for Playboy, and recently did a nude advertisement for PETA.

Summary: They have swimming in common and she gets naked a lot, sometimes for a cause.



Lily Donaldson: A supermodel, she recently replaced Kate Moss as the face of Burberry, and she's 21.

Summary: Dating a 21-year old supermodel may drag Michael Phelps out of the pool and onto a drug-fueled party scene, which makes for some good internet reading.


I saw an interview with Michael, and he said he's got a Facebook page. This is how he will be informed of our decision. Our proposal will read:

Dear Mr. Phelps,
Your public has spoken and you are now dating (Amanda Beard or Lily
Donaldson or both). This is what's best for you. Godspeed.
-J.Q. Public

I made the poll so you could vote as much as you want. So, if you're feeling really passionate about who Michael Phelps dates, vote your American heart out, then please get a hobby.

WHOOPS! The morning poll vanished. Oh well, those votes shouldn't count anyway. You should have been working.

Rock of Love Bus, the Casting Call Is On NOW!

Do you suffer from a lack of self-esteem?

Have your breasts been augmented two to three times their natural size?

Do you feel an indescribable yen for an aging rockstar who hasn't recorded a memorable hit in 20+ years?

Do you want to have your life recorded all day and night while ina confined space with fifteen other women with questionable hygiene?

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, VH1 wants you!

From RealityWanted.com:

"VH1 and BRET MICHAELS will hit the road literally…to find true love on the ROCK OF LOVE BUS with BRET MICHAELS.

VH1 is loading up a tour bus filled with beautiful babes and taking them on tour across the country. The Rock of Love Bus with Bret Michaels takes contestants out of the mansion and on the road in true rock star style. This season will feature all-new ladies vying for Bret’s affection while traveling across America following Bret on a month-long tour. The contestants will face new challenges to see if they can handle the rock star life on the road.

If you are a sexy single lady looking for love who can party like a rock star, then this is the show for you.

The LOVE BUS Casting Tour will be stopping in the following cities:

Los Angeles, CA, Las Vegas, NV, Salt Lake City, UT, Hoboken, NJ, Long Island, NY, New York, NY, Corpus Christi, TX , Chicago, Il, Cincinnati, OH, Charlotte, NC

All applicants must be 21+
Characters Wanted"

Hoboken, New Jersey? This season is going to be class all the way! See you in early 2009.

Prince William to Kate Middleton: "Smell My Finger!"

Apparantly, the Royal Nut Pinchers had the evening off, so Prince William had to do it himself. This photo was taken at 3:30am as PW and longtime girlfriend Kate Middleton left Chelsea's Raffles Nightclub. *sniffs* Not too shabby!

I Ordered Ten Thousand of These Babies

It's 7:11pm and way past my activism hours, but there will be no resting tonight for anyone who wishes to save Craig Robinson. It was just revealed that The Office and Pineapple Express star was arrested in late June for possession of drugs, including meth and ecstacy. He was pulled over when police said they found them inside his car. He was arrested for possession and being on under the influence.

Let's be realistic. Have the cops met Kelly Kapoor? Case dismissed.

Rock of Titty Cam

Yeah, so? I said Titty Cam, do you want to know what it is or not?

Motley Crue opens every show with a video of disease-ridden groupies baring their taters for a few seconds of fame among Motley Crue audience members (which consists of disease-ridden groupies baring their taters). It's a vicious, nippley cycle.

Some are speculating that Daisy De La Hoya is more than just a Tommy Lee fan featured on this footage, but his full-fledged spooge dumpster. Daisy De La Who, you ask? You may know her better as the neice of boxing champion Oscar, or as the runner up on Rock of Love 2, where she battled several other strippers for the ultimate prize, twenty minutes alone with Bret Michaels.


Bret Michaels, Tommy Lee...

Does anyone feel a "single white female" coming on? Daisy has walked in Pamela Anderson's shoes (read: slurped her sloppy seconds) more than once and even sort of resembles (clears throat) ok, resembles is a strong word, sort of looks like she went to a plastic surgeon and said, "Give me Pam's face, double the lips, hold the Hepatitis C, and stick me in a microwave for ten seconds, (ding) PERFECT!"

So, here's to the happy couple... until someone introduces her to Kid Rock.

Star Makes Hard-Hitting News Its' Bitch

.
Star Magazine has always been known for their journalistic integrity and in-your-face news, so it was anyone's guess what would be featured on this week's cover. I took some guesses a few days ago and, spoiler alert, I was wrong. Here are a few shots I took:


- John Edwards' possible love child

- The upcoming Democratic National Convention starring Barack Obama

- The impending war between Jennifer Aniston's and John Meyer's publicists


But Star managed to dig so deep into the bowels of controversy that a new beast was created. A beast so foul, so heinous, it could only be called... Shurloh!




Cute, right? Something tells me this will be the worst-selling cover of all time. I will not read an article about a celebrity's child* until they're old enough to give an interview** and give me some dirt on their parents for a small fee***.

* Sean Preston
** 3
*** I have a candy bar and a dollar seventy five (which, coincidentally, will also get his mom to talk)




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StarDroppings.com

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Beginning later this week, this blog will have its' own domain, http://www.stardroppings.com/. It will still be available at the current address, tough, so YAY!

A couple of quick things:

Ironic Occurance of the Day: Sienna Miller was filling up her car at a Beverly Hills Shell station when the paparazzi spotted her and began to gather around, asking about her relationship with married playboy Balthazar Ghetty. She broke down in tears, first begging, "Leave me alone!", then shouting, "Just give me some respect." Respect? Respect? Delicious.

I Love Money: If you watched on Sunday, you saw Pumkin make her power move, team up with the blondes and demolish the Stallionaire alliance. GO PUMKIN!

Believe it or not, much more important things have happened this week, but I chose these two little morsels PLUS my blog is unsearchable during this little domain transition. More tomorrow!




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In 36 Days, You Can Learn How to Be the Ultimate Mom

Through the Storm hits bookstores September 16th. Before you go buying a tent so you can camp out in front of your nearest Borders, remember you can pre-order online now for $24.99!

A literary triumph, Through the Storm is a biography and guide to raising well-rounded children in this crazy tabloid world from the mother of Jamie Lynn and Britney Spears. A hilarious tale of teen pregnancy and lost custody, Lynne Spears takes you on the touching journey of a Louisiana mother who learns to love her children by selling their souls to Hollywood casting directors.

Don't miss this rare opportunity to be the best parent you can be. Order now and receive a free bonus lighter for your little one!




Customers Who Purchased This Item Also Viewed:

Incognito by Miley Cyrus
How Babies Are Made by Clay Aiken
Driving for Dummies by Morgan Freeman
The Art of Subtlety by Tyra Banks




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UPDATE: The Winds of Change

I deleted all posts that don't pertain to entertainment news in order to mainstream my blog. From now on, this is the place to come for all things ridiculous. I hope you enjoy it!

The Last Comic Standing Finale and Some Other Things You Already Know

I like to watch funny TV. I like reality TV. Boy do I love a reality TV show about people trying to make me laugh. Any of those finalists were good enough to win, but I am so happy Iliza did. Girl Powa'! I can't hear the expression "girl power" without picturing a Spice Girl saying it, thus the powa'. Also major. Admit it, you saw the Victoria Beckham TV special last year. "Mayja".

And how cute was Jeff Dye? If he doesn't make it on the comedy circuit, I will officially hire him as my pool boy and I don't even have a pool.

Although the season was too short and the auditions were way too long, I enjoyed Last Comic Standing 5 (?) and am looking forward to next year. Which is weird, because usually at the end of a show's season, I swear off it for good. I always say I'm done watching one of these things, it's always for the same reason, and I always end up watching the premiere episode anyway.

Take The Bachelor for example. The most glaringly desperate girl gets cut the first night after she has professed she's "falling" for this guy, who is most certainly looking for (clears throat) love among 25 women who have failed at meeting a man any other way, and always cries four or five black mascara streaks during her exit interview because he was the one. He's got to cut half the women the first night. Goodbye butterfaces, drunks, and girls that probably stink. The least attractive among them makes it through three rounds though because the bachelor has something to prove, probably involving depth and sensitivity. The easiest girl (and there's big competition for this title) always makes it to the "intimate overnight date" portion of the show and, really, who can blame the guy? He deserves a little something-something for listening to her talk about her dream of saving the environment by becoming a singer/actress/model for six episodes. The last episode makes it obvious that one girl is going to win, the other one does, he proposes, she says yes, they've broken up before this episode has aired.

Where was I? Oh yeah, Last Comic Standing, it was awesome.

In related news, Clay Aiken is a father. The mother is 50. Also awesome.

No More Shots at Love

Tile Tequila was recently asked to shoot another season of her hit MTV show A Shot at Love, but has refused because she doesn't want to jeopardize her real-life romance with daughter of Yahoo! CEO Terry Semel, Courtenay Semel.

Now, one might let that go and pass Miss Courtenay off as a low-profile, probably-wealthy nobody - but not this blogger! There are three, maybe four, other people on this planet who know Courtenay well if they, too, are reality TV afficianados. Let's flash back to Filthy Rich: Cattle Drive, the brilliant 2005 show that put other children-of-famewhores on the side of a mountain in Colorado. I was probably not alone in hoping they would never be seen again, but the finale of the show was anticlimactic as the offspring returned to Hollywood, some launching brilliant careers... in more reality TV (Kourtney Kardashian, Keeping Up with the Kardashians; Brittny Gastineau, Gastineau Girls). Courtenay was voted by the four of us as the reason we watch: the one you love to hate.

After her brush with fame, Courtenay Semel lived with Lindsay Lohan, a celebrity no matter how you feel about her, and Casey Johnson, Johnson & Johnson heiress.

Does anyone consider Tila Tequila an upgrade? And, can you technically "upgrade" to a woman who is three feet tall? That's like upgrading to Verne Troyer.

Another reason Tequila cited for not doing another season is that it's time to do other things with her life. I assume she's talking about friending everyone who has a myspace page and cutting up her Cabbage Patch Dolls' clothes to make tiny, slutty outfits.

So, for now, put those hopes for love back up on the shelf. One of these days, Courtenay Semel will decide it's time for another upgrade. To an empty beer can.

Bullet Points

In a long-overdue salute to my attention defecit issues, I thought I would skip overanalyzing one pop culture disaster (see: Kimberly Stewart) and share a bunch of inconsequential crap with you.

FIRST: When did Prince Harry out-hot Prince William? And when did Wills morph into a caricature of, well, any Brit?


SECOND: I don't know the last time I watched an entertainment news program when they didn't show me a naughty camera phone self-portrait of Miley Cyrus. If I wanted to see something creepy, I would read a Joe Simpson interview.

THIRD: Let's get political.

See more Paris Hilton videos at Funny or Die

Naked Pictures of Anne Hathaway! Get 'em Here! (a web experiment)

Because I am just getting myself back into blogging this month, I thought a blatant lie was in order to boost my readership this Tuesday afternoon. I thought, "What will my friends online be searching for today?" Then I read that the federal government has seized Raffaelo Follieri's property in their investigation, which may include naked photographs of Anne Hathaway*, his former girlfriend and star of Disney's Princess Diaries.

If I had a couple dollars, I would bet that these naked pictures of Anne Hathaway** will hit the net this week. There has to be at least one red-blooded perv in the FBI that feels it is his patriotic duty to post nude pics of Anne Hathaway***.

Still, doing an online search of completely naked shots of Anne Hathaway**** should automatically get a person's computer red-flagged by the government. She's a Disney star. for the love of Goofy. Are you googling naked pictures of Miley Cyrus***** too? Why not Belle? I'm sure nobody's taken a good, long, creepy ogle at her in awhile.

So, that's my little web experiment. Let's watch that web counter in the corner soar!



*, **, ***, ****, ***** An attempt to name all possible searches

Kimberly Stewart and Those Crazy Brits. What a Tangled Web They Weave

I started having issues with Kim Stewart, daughter of Rod Stewart, when she began dating Talan from Laguna Beach. See, I had an imaginary relationship with him when he starred as one of the sexy conflicted high schoolers on Laguna Beach. Did I say Kimberly Stewart was creepy? I meant me. So, I was just reading a sordid tale online that really has little to do with her, but for some reason, there is one lingering question that I will ask you in a paragraph or two.

I guess she had been dating Rhys Ifans. Who? Exactly. I IMDB'd him and saw that he is probably most famous for playing Hugh Grant's roommate (flatmate, if you're British or classy) in Notting Hill.

The actual meat of the story was that Sienna Miller, who famously dated Jude Law (who was then married and spending time in the nanny's naughty spot), left Rhys Ifans for Bathazar Getty, who is married to Rosetta Getty and has since left Sienna to go home to his family.

The point made by the Daily Mail is that Sienna Miller is much more famous for her homewrecking indiscretion than any of her movies. What movies? Exactly. I IMDB'd her, too. Did anyone see Alfie? Maybe you've heard that she's set to star in a movie called A Woman of No Importance. Irony is delicious. Seriously, IMDB it. Now I need to take you on a thought-detour, stay with me.

Have you ever heard that women ultimately settle down with men who are similar to their fathers? Some obvious examples: Jenna Bush and Henry Hager (Republican with sexy anchorman hair), Kate Hudson and Chris Robinson (dirty hippie), Lisa Marie and Michael Jackson (this one is too easy, so go ahead and insert your own white joke here).

If this is true, why in the world was Kimberly Stewart dating Rhys Ifans?

August: A Month to Blog on Weekdays

Hi! I don't know if anyone checks this anymore, but I think I should take a few minutes each day to get some thoughts out. They get so lost in poopy diapers and cleaning out closets; I need some odd-mommy-thoughts time!

That being said, Estelle Getty is no longe with us. Please lower your head join me in a chorus of Thank You For Being a Friend as a tribute. You feel better, don't you? Good luck on the other side, Sophia.

In an attempt to keep up with pop culture, I am listening to David Archuleta's new single, "Crush" as I type. What is it with the American Idol people coming out with creepy songs fresh out of the gate? Wasn't it Clay Aiken the one who said, "If I was invisible then I could just watch you in your room"? Although David Archuleta manages not to conjure up the same images of a restraining order, you can't help but shudder for the girl he is feverishly beating his american idol to.

Kate Hudson and Lance Armstrong: did anyone else see this coming? I'm sure there's more than one or two men in the world who are willing to console her, though. And if she really misses Lance, I can help her re-live the good times by spanking her with a golf ball in a baggie.

OK, those are my Friday thinkin's. Have a good weekend!